Introspection, with a little help

2025-02-27 11:21:00

The cards shown in the image above are from the Eldritch Overload tarot deck, by weird.works.

Last summer I did some soul-searching, some introspection, to figure out which direction I could or should take my career. I learned a lot about myself, by asking myself a few simple questions and then mind mapping my answers. 

• Which things do I like which are good for ...
  • My ego?
  • Others?
  • Fun?
• Which things am I bad at?
• Which things do I dislike?
• What are my pitfalls?

At the time I, once again, determined that Discord is a big pitfall for me (as is Reddit). So this week I quit Discord cold turkey; it's done me a lot of good!

Another big issues which I found for myself is trying to do too many things at the same time. And I'm doing it again!

I'm currently teaching three classes and juggling three different consulting customers. I also have our household and my business to run and I have my own studies to keep up with. 

Today I turned to another introspection tool: tarot. 

I'm not one for mysticism or esotery (that changed since my early late teenage years), I don't believe in some unseen force telling me stuff through pieces of cardboard. What I do find in tarot, is another way of asking myself questions. These cards and their suggested meanings provide me another point of view on a situation.

I posited the following:

"I feel that I must learn and study, to keep up with the times, to keep my career and employability viable. I even started making less billable hours to make more time for studying! I'm generating a lot less income, while trying to rush for certifications. This isn't a problem yet, but can I keep up with this?"

I pulled the cards shown at the top of this post:

• Past: VI of potions.
• Present: Queen of coins, reversed.
• Future: Knight of swords.

The Eldritch Overload cyberpunk tarot deck is lovely and the accompanying guide is both gorgeous and helpful. 

My interpretation of these pulls:

• The more we learn, the more we grow. (knight)
• Beware your priorities, do not lose sight of your loved ones. (rev. queen)
• Find what used to bring you joy and energy. Re-find the fun and wonder. (VI)
• Don't keep chasing the lastest and newest. Take time to grow and consume. (knight)

Taking an hour to mull things over, I decided that:

• I should hold off on taking on even more work, customers and projects.
• I should drop a few of my latest projects, like contributing to a book someone else is writing.
• I should continue with the CPTS learning path that I started in January.
• But I should lower my own stress levels by accepting that I won't finish it in time for my OSCP+ exam. Like the first time I took OSCP, I'll just do it and I'll see how things end up. 

kilala.nl tags: life,

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